The Beautiful, Complicated Ways Women Influence One Another

“I don’t talk to myself like a friend.”

“I have high standards, and I don’t fulfill any of them.”

“There’s a lot of competing rather than supporting each other.”

“They perform nevertheless — even when every part of them is in resistance… because that’s what women do.”

I came across an article about my dear friend MIIA, a wonderful Norwegian singer, and her collaborator Vaarin, and their beautiful song Skin of a Fool.

And there was something about it that really moved me.

The article describes their story as one about the “exhausting cabaret of womanhood,” learning to quiet the inner critic, and finding strength in friendship and shared experience.

The exhausting cabaret of womanhood.

What an expression!

Because I think so many of us know something about that.

The pressure to be beautiful, successful, loving, capable, desirable, accomplished. To be everything to everyone, and somehow never feel quite good enough.

And then there are the ways we can relate to one another as women.

The comparisons.

The little underhanded comments.

The sense of threat we can feel when another woman is beautiful, successful, confident, or receiving attention.

The resentment that builds when we keep giving, but aren’t honest about what we need.

The moments when we find ourselves making ourselves smaller because we can feel that another woman isn’t comfortable with us being fully expressed.

I’ve experienced these things. And I’ve spent a great deal of my life becoming curious about them.

Because women are incredible, they really are.

I love our strength, our creativity, our sensitivity, our intelligence, our beauty, and our capacity for love and connection.

And I also think it’s important that we’re willing to look at the parts of ourselves and our relationships that aren’t so beautiful.

Not to judge ourselves or other women, but to understand what’s happening- and discover what else is possible.

That’s a huge part of why I created Blossoming Lotus.

​

Listen Here ​
​

Let me give you a recent example.

Last week, I was having coffee with an old friend and sharing some of the things I’m creating in my business. I was excited! Talking about my plans, the work I love, and what I’m looking forward to bringing into the world.

And she suggested that perhaps I should just go into corporate work, where the money would be better and things might be easier.

I could feel the shift in myself.

That little moment when you’re sharing something you’re genuinely excited about, and someone who matters to you doesn’t quite meet you there.

It hurt.

And I think that’s interesting.

Because even after 30 years of coaching and personal development, I’m still human! I can still feel disappointed, misunderstood, or hurt.

But here’s what’s different for me now.

I was able to be curious about why her comment affected me and recognize that she may simply see things differently. I respected her perspective and learned from it, without abandoning mine or losing touch with how much I love this work and why I’m doing it.

To me, that’s such an important part of personal and emotional development. We can still feel hurt or disappointed, but we become better able to understand our responses, navigate our relationships, and make conscious choices about how we want to live.

And that brings me back to MIIA and Vaarin’s song, and something I care deeply about: the influence women have on one another.

Throughout my life, women have shown me so many different expressions of womanhood. I’ve experienced extraordinary compassion, tenderness, courage, intelligence, creativity, and strength. I’ve also experienced the more difficult sides of our relationships, and all of it has made me curious about how we can develop healthier, more conscious ways of relating to ourselves and one another.

I’ve become increasingly fascinated by how our personal histories, our families, our culture, and generations of beliefs and expectations have shaped our experience of being women. And how much becomes possible when we begin exploring these things consciously, especially in the company of other women.

That’s part of what inspired me to create Blossoming Lotus.​

I wanted to bring women together for an 11-week guided journey where we can explore what it means to be a woman-our history, the patterns we’ve inherited, our emotional lives, relationships, bodies, creativity, sensuality, power, and feminine and masculine qualities.

Through teaching, coaching, guided experiences, and meaningful connection, we’ll have the opportunity to understand ourselves more deeply and develop the very best of who we can be, while creating a warm, supportive community where we can be honest, curious, playful, and enjoy learning from one another.

You don’t have to be unhappy with your life to want this. You can love your life and still be excited about everything there is to discover and develop within yourself.

Blossoming Lotus begins Wednesday, November 11, and I’d love to welcome you.

​Explore Blossoming Lotus​

With love and excitement,
​

​

P.S. In December, I’ll be in Oslo, Norway, hosting An Evening to Receive with my dear friend MIIA.

And here’s something I’m especially excited about: MIIA and Vaarin will be performing their beautiful song Skin of a Fool together, live!

After everything I’ve shared with you today about the song and the experiences behind it, I think you can imagine how meaningful that will be.

We’ll be creating a beautiful, intimate evening for women to connect, reflect, receive, and explore themselves through guided experiences, conversation, and music.

I’m so looking forward to it!

If you’d love an ongoing opportunity for this kind of personal exploration and connection with other women, Blossoming Lotus begins this Wednesday, November 11.

I’d love to welcome you.

​