Presence Over Presents: How To Stay Connected This Holiday Season (And What To Do When You’re Just Not Feeling It.)
Dec 06, 2025
You're standing in your kitchen, staring at your calendar.
Three parties this week. Gifts still to buy. A mountain of baking to do. That presentation to finish. You feel a lurch of overwhelm, and your cheeks burn.
You want to feel excitement. You want to be present. But mostly? You're just damn exhausted.
Here's what nobody tells you about the holidays: the season designed for love and connection is the one that leaves us most depleted.
We show up to everything, and feel present at nothing. We “yes, absolutely!” our way through conversations we'll forget by morning. We race to the finish, and set impossible deadlines to projects that could wait until January.
And we confuse “presents” with “presence” and don’t give anyone (least of all ourselves) the one thing we really need.
Well, this is something it took me years to realize -- and even now I have to be conscious to not fall into tenancies to say yes to everything. I want to do it all!
So, whether you’d rather be wrapped up in celebrations (or wrapped in a blanket journaling in the corner) this one’s for you.
How to Create The Type of Connection That Actually Means Something This Holiday Season
The most nourishing gift you can give (or receive) this season isn’t wrapped in paper, it’s actually being present with those you love.
So, over dinner and the clinking of glasses, why not steer the conversation away from the weather, the news (or worse: politics) to something everyone might actually remember?
Here are some general prompts to get you going:
- What's a skill or experience you'd love to explore if time and money weren't factors?
- Who in your life do you wish you could thank but haven't yet - and for what?
- "What moment recently made you feel most alive?"
- "If you could give your younger self one piece of wisdom, what age would you go back to - and what would you say?”
For Holidays and New Year, specifically:
- “What's a hardship from this year that you're actually grateful for now?”
- “What surprised you most about yourself this year?”
- "What's a risk you want to take in the new year that scares you a little?”
- “What do you want to be different about your life by the time we're all together again next year?”
How I Use These (and You Can Too)
Something I love to do is write one question on a card for each guest, and pop it under their napkin. Then we go around the table, and take turns asking each other.
And if you want to turn it into a game, these are fantastic:
Watch how quickly the energy in the room shifts! Suddenly people are present instead of checking their phones. They're laughing, tearing up, sharing memories they haven’t had in years.
(Far better than another painful political conversation, wouldn’t you agree?) ;)
And if you’re just not feeling it…
That’s okay! Be honest with yourself. The holidays should never be about performing or people-pleasing, especially at the expense of your own energy.
If what you need right now is a quiet evening with a blanket, and It’s a Wonderful Life, do it. It’s just as valid as showing up to every party on the calendar.
Remember, you are allowed to:
- Say no to events that deplete you
- Set boundaries around your time and energy
- Prioritize depth over decoration
- Feel however you feel (even if it’s not "festive")
(In fact, if that’s what you’re feeling -- I give you full permission to curl up with a chocolate chai, and do absolutely nothing!)
Ready to go deeper?
If these prompts resonated with you, imagine what could shift if you gave yourself a full 2 hours to reflect, release, and reset.
In early January, I'm hosting a live webinar where together we'll light candles, open our notebooks -- and reflect on the year that's passed, and intentionally visualize the one ahead.
Make sure you're on my email list to get all the details!
Love and blessings,
Naomi
