Last weekend, back from my volunteering retreat, I was at my computer, working so intensely that I barely noticed what was happening outside.
When I looked up, it was super dark and stormy and the water across the lake was whipping everywhere.
The first thought in my mind was, "Oh God, what about the eagle's nest across the river." So next morning, when all was calm, I pulled on my boots, scarf and sunglasses, and went out to see if they were alright.
And there, where their tree once stood: where there they had built their nest, the haven they came back to year after year was -
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Nothing. Gone. Empty Space.
Holy shit.
“It's not there.” I thought.
And I had to compute it.
I was heartbroken. Like the wind was knocked out of my sails, like something terrible had happened to someone I knew..
It was that intense.
The two babies hadn't survived the storm. The parent eagles sat in their perches, in stillness. And all around, the neighbors - the people from every house and neighborhood nearby who come out every evening with their binoculars and cameras and long-lens telescopes - stood quietly with them. The same people who had watched those babies be fed, watched them test their wings, watched them grow up and fly away, year after year.
All of that, gone.
Brutal.
People were milling about with binoculars. One of them, a couple, turned to me and said:
"It's time for us to move.
It's a sign.”
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears. And inwardly I knew…
I’d already made my decision to leave. But interesting how life shows you yes, if you are feeling pulled to change, life also changes around you. It doesn’t get more tangible than this.
The nest earlier this spring
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For a long time, I placed my nervous system's sense of safety in my environment: the quality of the light, the texture of the linens, the order and beauty of the space I've inhabited.
I've created a sanctuary here in Boise, a cocoon for growth, reorientation, and to relaunch my work in a whole new way.
And for a while it has held me.
But recently, I've had to confront the question of where my “okayness” actually lives.
Because a home can blow down, a relationship can end, and life can rearrange - all while you're sitting and working; looking at your screen in the dark.
And if your internal steadiness is dependent on the external arrangement being exactly right, you are one disruption away from losing yourself.
That’s why the evolution I'm in now, moving toward something more - a life more nomadic, more alive, less dependent on a cocoon for a while- is a quieter evolution than the ones I've had before (like my divorce, for example, or dissolving my brick-and-mortar businesses).
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But it is real.
It is the practice, every day, of cultivating the feeling of home rather than the structure of it -- and building that from the inside out.
Now, like I said, I’ve been working hard at my computer, head-down, creating something new.
In a sense, it’s a cocoon… but one I can carry with me wherever I go.
One that encompasses all of my transformation, and the transformation of my clients. One that epitomises my life's work…
It's called “EVOLVE.”
I built EVOLVE out of every threshold I've ever crossed.
The childhood search for meaning. The divorce. The autoimmune “diseases”. Digestive issues. The businesses I’ve dissolved. The years in India. The meditation retreats, the personal development, the thirty years of clients sitting across from me in every kind of storm imaginable. Every walk I took after something fell apart. Every piece of shrapnel I picked up and learned from.
I did not design this framework in a boardroom. I lived my way into it.
And what I know now, after nearly thirty years of this work, is that people are not broken. They are in metamorphosis. They simply don't have a framework for what's happening to them, or a way to work with it powerfully.
This is that framework.
And I'm so, so thrilled to share it with you today.
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One tiny note…
EVOLVE isn't a linear process. Like life, it isn't an A to Z, or a straight line. Sometimes my clients and I will focus on one facet, sometimes all.
Whatever you need.
It’s all designed to help you and your unique constitution...
And take you from exactly where you are now (all the worry, over-giving, exhaustion , confusion, disconnection - all the rearrangement of life) to exactly where you truly want to be.
Ready? Let’s dive in…
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The 6 Core Principles of EVOLVE
E: Energetics & Eastern Wisdom
Energy is the foundation of everything. Before we can even attempt to heal old wounds, we have to understand what a human being actually is. But the truth is most of us were never taught that.
Instead, we grew up in family systems and cultures that passed down skewed perceptions of the world. We went through rigid education. We grew into adults.
We had therapy, went to the gym; we became vegetarian, gluten free, paleo, and perhaps alcohol free…
We did our best to figure it out. And do all the things we were supposed to.
But rarely do we have a genuine understanding of what this flesh and blood, energetic being that we live inside, actually is.
And that’s why Eastern wisdom is so transformative.
Nothing changed my life more than going deep into Eastern traditions -- Ayurveda, Chinese medicine, elemental medicine, yoga -- sitting with doctors in India who read my system just by holding my pulse, or could look at me and know exactly where I was breaking down.
I have learned that the body isn’t a machine with parts that break, but it’s supreme cosmic intelligence.
I finally knew why some relationships in my life depleted me, while others restore.
I finally understood why, despite all the strategies and all my best intentions, I still made the same mistakes.
It was the missing piece I'd been searching for all my life.
And it’s the basis of all the work we’ll do together.
Want to know more about how Eastern Wisdom impacts our work together? Follow this link for this week’s Audio Edition.โ
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โV: Values
Maybe you have a mantra you recite into the mirror every morning -- or a set of beliefs your parents handed down, that you accept without question
The truth is, most of us never truly excavate our values. (And I use the word "excavate" very intentionally, because the process of uncovering your values isn't something you're taught. It's through lived experience, through loss, or moments in life where you're tested, and discover who you actually are.)
The interesting thing that I've learned through doing this work for nearly 30 years is that the essence of this rarely changes. If I look at my journals from when I was 10 years old, the same things are there:
Depth
Care for people
Beauty
Aliveness
The dream of being a bridge to something healthy, expanded, more alive.
The values I have are expressed externally, through relationships, through client work, through the way I live… through this newsletter you're reading now.
The truth is, people often reach a crossroads in life because the values they've held on to no longer represent them.
So, when I say “V is for Values,” it doesn’t mean living by other people’s rules or expectations…
It means uncovering what actually matters to you, and finding a true, innate orientation with that.
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O: Origin
You cannot build a new life on a foundation that is unexamined. That is the work of origin: not to be ruled by your past or defined by it, but to understand how it shapes the human being you are now.
Here, we might look at your family systems, attachment blueprint, your inner child or shadow work.
(The list goes on.)
This “Origin work” is deeply personal to me.
Because I know first hand, when you have an unexamined origin, it can subconsciously rule your life and stop you from finding true inner peace, however successful you may appear on the outside.
It was only when I looked at the dynamics of my own family which is where your inner orientation to life gets “formed, activated and brought to life”- (what was expected of you, what kind of behavior got you loved and approved of, how women were held, how men showed up, the developmental stages of the “adults” in the room, all the strengths and unhealthy patterns running through generations of family and culture) that I could clear up my own inner dynamics and finally be free.
I can't tell you how much I would love that for you.
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L: Living Your Life
This is probably the most practical and underestimated pillar in my EVOLVE framework.
You see, most coaches approach your physical life as an “add-on,” a layer of wellness that miraculously benefits after the “real” internal work is done.
โBut, as I illustrated in my newsletter 3 weeks ago, there is actually no separation. โ
What you eat, how you rest, how you move, what environment you inhabit — what you ingest through all of your senses — all create the physiological condition that determines what's possible for you emotionally, cognitively and spiritually.
(And the Ayurvedic lens goes even deeper than that!)
That’s why, when I work with my clients, I can't help but see them as the complete multi-layered, multi-dimensional person they are -- and most important of all how this impacts their day-to-day life, and the choices they make.
It's what Living Your Life is all about.
If you’d like to know more about the Ayurveda aspect of Eastern Wisdom, Follow this link for this week’s Audio Edition.โ
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โV: Vision
You may see your vision as a five-year plan. It might be a revenue goal you want to hit in the next six months, or a “destination wedding” you’re furiously planning…
But that's not the way I see it.
Vision is the felt sense of what your life wants to become: the quality, the energy, the influence, the essence of what you are here to create and to contribute.
From the very beginning of my working life - from my first job working in an organic cafe in 1995, through body work, functional nutrition, health coaching, psychological coaching, meditation, Eastern philosophy - the shape of my work has changed completely, but the vision has always remained the same:
To be a bridge and a catalyst for healthy change.
To help my clients encounter a part of themselves that they were not previously aware of - and open up a more expanded context within which they can live.
More Joyful, Vital, Open, Radiant.
Like a compass, your vision helps you stay on course.
And like a boat, it helps you ride the waves of life…
The unexpected storms, the trees falling, people you love passing; the picking yourself up, and building a new home.
Helping my clients find their own Vision -- one that they live and breathe, one that brings them more joy more than they can possibly imagine -- is one of the most powerful things this work can do.
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E: Embodiment
Almost every single person I work with has done coaching or therapy of some kind. They're extraordinarily insightful. They may listen to their intuition, they can articulate their limiting beliefs. They might even know their attachment style…
And yet they all repeat the same patterns, and make the same mistakes.
Maybe you’re caught in a similar wheel of frustration?
That’s why, “Embodiment,” the final pillar of EVOLVE, pulls everything together. It helps you take everything you learn, every single facet of the work we do together -- and gets you moving.
Because talk therapy, visualisations, all of this means nothing unless you actually know how to put it into practise and change your life in the way that you truly deeply want to.
And that’s what embodiment means: true transformation, and (at last!) a tangibly different outcome.
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So. To Conclude…
The EVOLVE framework runs through every part of my work, however you might choose to work with me.
That’s whether you…
โGet on my 1:1 waitlist. โ
โChoose to be a part of my women's group. (That I promise is coming in the fall!)
Or just take the time now to listen to my Audio Edition.โ
… I cannot wait to support you.
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And, as I'm writing this now, I realize something.
For sure, it's a cocoon, but it's actually more than that.
EVOLVE is a chrysalis.
It's the place where metamorphosis happens, where transformation truly takes place.
The EVOLVE Framework encompasses all my work, all my knowledge, all my wisdom, everything I’ve built up until this point.
It’s a way for you to understand the depth and breadth of my work.
It’s a way for you to get out of your head, out of the dark, and understand the signs life is showing you.
And it helps every single person I work with truly transform their lives: until they can finally peel away everything that’s held them back, and emerge transformed…
Like a butterfly (or an eagle!) ready to spread their wings and move into something better.
Even if you’re not entirely sure what that is... yet.
Thanks for being on this journey with me.
Love and Blessings,
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P.S. At the beginning of this newsletter, I said I'd been at my computer for hours, building in the dark.
Well, next week, all my work (and all your patience) finally pays off.
Something's coming that I’m absolutely thrilled about!
It’s a very workable, actionable way you can put this EVOLVE framework into practice.
It will have precisely zero on the price tag.
All you have to do is turn up wherever you usually read this newsletter…
… and all will be revealed.
See you there.
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