What did your original definition of success look like?

Mine was to be a Doctor. 

At university I walked past that Medical School everyday. Until I felt deep within my bones: this is not my place.

I wanted to help people heal. Alleviate their suffering and their pain. But this wasn’t it. 

Years later, when I had my own brick-and-mortar business I started to notice the need to evolve once more. I even found myself questioning how to move towards something pulling me into a different direction, into a deeper way of working with clients, versus staying in security and stability.

Well this is something I see many of my clients questioning. And if that headline hit a nerve, perhaps you feel the same.

Maybe the money no longer talks loudly enough to drown out the other voices? 

Or maybe you look at the world outside your window and wonder, what’s it all for?

Now, I'm not suggesting you throw your hands (or your business) up in the air -- and go to India in search of a deeper truth. (I'm not suggesting you follow completely in my footsteps.) ;-)

But I am suggesting you might re-define what success means for you, and instead of chasing another goal, think in terms of your Integrity of Purpose.

What Do I Mean By Integrity of Purpose?

When exploring this question, there’s one philosophy, or mode of thinking -- I’d like to use to illustrate my point.

It comes from Aristotle, who back in around 330 BC explored the meaning of purpose alongside the meaning of life (long before Monty Python came along).

And his answer was simple: “Eudaimonia.” 

Now, the conventional English translation of the Greek “Eudaimonia,” means “happiness” -- but when taken at face value, that leaves an incomplete picture.

You see, happiness is fleeting. It’s a feeling, and it can be fickle: it could be found for some at the end of a long week with a good meal and a bottle of wine, by landing a new 6-figure contract, or watching a child take their first steps. 

(All very different definitions of happiness I’m sure you’ll agree.)

Even Aristotle himself acknowledged that happiness is not the same for all:

“The many do not give the same account as the wise. For the former think it is some plain and obvious thing like pleasure, wealth or honour…”

No, despite our translation, Aristotle did not view happiness or (like success) as something that can be bought or sold. But rather Eudaimonia as the highest human experience of living well and fulfilling your human potential - living in alignment with your highest nature. 

And this is where it gets interesting… 

Because everything, or everyone has strengths or activities to which they’re particularly suited... 

And it’s how powerfully we lean into that - our own unique nature -- our own peculiar gifts and talents -- and live it well, how deeply we go all in on our own personal discovery of self and how deeply and fully we can be involved in life around us - that will determine our experience in life. 

Our Ability to Reason

Before we draw it all together, and apply these principles to our own lives, there’s one more piece of Aristotle’s philosophy I want you to consider:

And that is our ability to reason.

Specifically, as human beings, it's this ability to reason that truly sets us apart from all other living creatures. 

I love this. 

It’s so, so important. 

In fact it’s essential.

And something I work hard to help my clients’ realize… 

Because I believe that it’s both reason AND our unique nature/strengths  -- in other words, our ability to reflect deeply + our own individual gifts and talent, that must be explored to find our true, real integrity of purpose. 

What Integrity of Purpose Can Mean For You 

It’s undeniable that your perspectives and values will shift with the passing years -- just as mine did when I decided not to become a doctor. Life is cyclical and in stages- we evolve… That's how nature works. 

But how do you keep the embers of your aliveness, your engagement, your curiosity, what you care about, and what your vision is -- alive throughout this process of exploration and evolution -- so you can discover your true essence?

As Aristotle says - eudaimonia is a lifelong practice - you don’t have it, you live it. 

In my case? I paid attention. I listened to where I was uncomfortable, what felt stifling, stagnating or transactional in life; versus what’s passionate, alive, interesting, or meaningful for me.

And I realized: fulfillment does not come from achievement alone. True joy for me comes from getting involved with life and people, to get out of my mind and into my life,  from setting a vision that ignites me, from making a contribution, and directly seeing the impact of my work.

Truth is everything that has meaning in my life has come as a result of doing the work. From choosing deep, meaningful purpose over a limited definition of  success.

Euaimonia is living a meaningful, coherent, values aligned life- where the actions you perform express who you are and aim to be - it’s Living Integrity- where what you think, feel, say and do are in alignment - You are undivided within yourself and how you are and how you act.

How to Find Your Integrity of Purpose 

Begin by asking yourself 3 simple questions:

1. How am I wired? (And where does that come from?)

When exploring your answers, know that your influences could range anywhere from family systems, to genetic memory, and cultural influences. Be curious and feel the difference between a strength, something you have natural affinity and talent for and something you may be involved in because of circumstance, influence or a result you are seeking. 

2. What do I actually care about? Has this evolved?

It’s important to reflect on this both regularly and honestly, because we’re living in a time of unprecedented change. The shifting of systems is happening. There’s no denying it...

You may once have cared about hitting certain numbers (a revenue milestone for example) but now you want to sell and start something more meaningful that allows for more time with your family or investing in community building. 

There’s no right or wrong: it’s simply important to establish, are the things you once cared about most, still one and the same? 

3. How can I take my strengths, and turn them into something meaningful?

By this, think Aristotelian function: those unique gifts, talents, and perspectives that only you have. What sparks your interest? What comes easily to you? What do you see as problems you could solve without question? What is a profitable solution for a problem for people and the planet? 

With Purpose Comes Action

I’ll leave you with this gorgeous quote, which pretty much sums up my attitude to your Integrity of Purpose:

“As in the Olympic Games it is not the most beautiful and the strongest that are crowned but those who compete, so those who act rightly win the noble and good things in life.”

• Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics (C. 325 BC.) 

In short, whatever it is you're trying to accomplish, do the deep work. 

Think. 

Reason. 

Reason well. 

Pay deep attention to what feels meaningful and valuable to YOU.

And put it into action. Live in integrity, in full alignment with all of who you are. 

True fulfillment is in the journey. It’s in the Process-  It’s in discovering who you are, and what lights you up; then going out there -- doing it -- and living each day the absolute best that you can. 

In the process, you may discover what it is you really want from life. You may just redefine success, and uncover your purpose. 

Love and Blessings, 🙏🏻💛🪷

P.S. I can’t sign off without a small post-script on the struggles we face in the world right now. Indeed, as I was writing, I couldn’t help but hear this quote ringing in my ears:

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”

• Viktor Frankl, Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor

The challenges we face today come at us not only as business owners or entrepreneurs, mothers and fathers, but empathetic, thoughtful, caring, reasoned human beings.

The way we've worked, the way we've lived, the way we've defined our value and place in the world is shifting. And I say this as an American, right now- on the outside looking in.

My heart hurts when I see what is happening in my native country. But I also know, if we don't take charge of our own inner well-being -- if we don’t live by our Integrity of Purpose -- we may be carried along, and crushed by the waves, while the world restructures.

We all have the ability to redefine our success by these new parameters. And, on the other side, we can create the lives, communities and world that we really want to live in.