“Breathe.” Why Navigating Change is a Little More Complex Than That.

This week I had a wobble.

Sure, there’s been dealing with jet lag, and the re-entry after six months in India, but this felt  a bit different.

Like standing on a threshold -- and one I hadn’t anticipated. 

I've been here before. There have been many moments in my life when I felt like this.

The first, profound so, was around 1996-when I realised I no longer wanted to be a Doctor. 

I'd been so attached to that idea. All I knew was that I wanted to help people heal in a very real way, that felt whole, transformative, and addressed the root cause of their suffering -- but when I got to university, I realised this isn't it. 

(At least it wasn’t for me.)

Years later, these threshold moments involved other people.

When I was 37 and realised I was going to get a divorce...

Or later in 2019, when I discovered the man I was living with was having an affair… and I chose to break up, sell our our business and start a new life.

Back then, I saw such “threshold moments” (as I like to call them) as something frightening -- terrifying even. It felt like stepping off a cliff into the abyss. 

But now I see them as something rather different. 

Because every threshold moment, every second of change, every minute of feeling on the cusp of something new has led to something greater.

It’s a birthing process. And like all births, it asks something of you before it gives you everything.

A metamorphosis.

Like the caterpillar to the butterfly. 

And if you’ve ever had a vision, or tried to build something bigger than yourself, you’ll know exactly what that feels like...

Right now, more and more of my clients are navigating new territory. They're putting it all out there, every single part of themselves, and seeing what happens. 

It’s a privilege to witness, and help them navigate what life is opening up for them.

And that's why it's important for me to be honest about how the in-between moments genuinely feel, because we do each other a disservice when we only share the end of the journey -- when everything looks easeful, shiny or new.

I know what being on such a threshold is like.

It feels like…

Low-grade edginess, (and sometimes high grade) as if you’re constantly on the edge of fight or flight. Almost as if you’re a small bird pecking at seeds, peering over your shoulder to see who else might be around. 

Walking on quicksand, as if the ground beneath your feet has shifted and there is nothing solid to stand on.

A lack of clear direction that can make you deeply, viscerally uncomfortable.

And yet…

Curiosity.

Devotion.

A devotion to something you cannot articulate, but know, deep inside of you that you must move towards it.

***

All of this is to say, whatever might be shifting for you, whether it be a job, or a relationship; whether you're helping your kids through exams, or getting ready for college in the fall…

Or whether it feels a more metaphysical change, like moving from who you once were to who you want to become… 

Whatever it is, it's a threshold moment. 

You have to mourn that which you are leaving behind; you have to grieve in order to move forward.

You have to remember your vision, keep yourself strong and regulated. And if you need to ebb with the tides, and flow in a new direction -- go with it.

That’s what I’ll be doing. And I’m also reminding myself as I write this;

It’s an opportunity.

And on the other side, everything is always better.

Every. Single. Time. 

Love and Blessings, 🙏🏻💛🪷

P.S. Life is full of threshold moments. That's what change, growth, and evolution is. And in my opinion, it’s often why people choose to stay in little boxes marked “safe,” slowly gathering dust, up on a shelf.

But, I know that’s not you. ;)

So, if you’re wondering what this might look like for you, how to trust your instincts, lean into your intuition, and move into your next phase with certainty and grace...

I recorded this voicenote for you.Go here now.